You must be wondering, like the harridan housewife angrily tapping at her watch and shaking her head as her husband returns home from work a full five minutes later than usual, where I have been, what I have been doing and whether it had anything to do with the new secretary at work. And I shall give you a similar excuse to that given by the beleaguered husband; I was busy, couldn't get away, boring stuff, you really wouldn't want to hear about it but I'm sorry, I hope I haven't spoilt tea. Now will you let me back in the house or should I find a Premier Inn for the night (I'm sure Lenny will console me with promises of comfort and affordability)?
I'll assume the former, guiltily slink back into the house and secretly call Miss Smith later to tell her that 'the old bag' doesn't suspect a thing.
So, what's been going on in time I've been absent at this metaphorical office? Well the answer, unsurprisingly for a world of just under seven billion inhabitants (not to mention the countless cows, sheep, dogs, cats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and other fauna), is quite a lot. An entire country managed to go bust as Greece nearly brought the Eurozone to it's knees (and my flight to a standstill as I attempted to leave Crete during an air traffic controller strike). An entire newspaper was closed down as the mounting number of phone hacking incidents finally forced news international to end publication of the 'News of the World'.
Both of these stories are important, ongoing and worrying and I don't feel that lightheartedly poking fun at them is the best way forward right now. Perhaps in a few months time I'll be able to crack a joke or two, but in the mean time I'll make two amusing observations and be done with it; firstly, it made me chuckle that a country whose work day is so relaxed they take a nap for four hours in the afternoon between shifts could go on strike and secondly I think Rebekah Brooks resembles a poodle. Call me juvenile but that kind of thing still tickles me.
"So", you impatiently ask (once again tapping the watch), "What are you going to talk about?" Well there's another major incident that needs addressing, and that is the end of the 'Harry Potter' film series.
To quote that famous American singer-songwriter Mr Bruce Springsteen, "It's been a long time comin'". It was back in 1990, before I was even born, that Mrs Rowling first had the idea to write about a teenage wizard on a train from Manchester to London, and 1997 when 'The Philosopher's Stone' rolled off the printing press and into the imaginations of children around the world. A nuclear bomb could hardly have had a more world-changing impact. Six books later and the world has gone 'Potty' (sorry, couldn't resist the pun there). 400 million books have been sold worldwide in 67 different languages including Ukrainian, Welsh and, my favourite, Ancient Greek (major market there I should imagine). The film series itself, even without the final exciting installment, is the highest grossing series of all time, making a staggering $6 billion worldwide. To call the series a success is an understatement.
Why do we love Harry Potter? Jesus, what a question. Some would point to J.K. Rowling's imagination and writing style. Whilst Tolkien and Lewis will be eternally revered for their mystical worlds and magical stories, Rowling brought magic right up to date with an imagination us mere mortals (or muggles?) can only dream about. Forget Narnia, a world only accessible through a mothballed wardrobe (finding my Mum's wardrobe didn't have the same effect was the cause of much childhood heartache and parental anger as she found me huddling in amongst her neatly folded t-shirts muttering something about dwarves). Forget Middle Earth, a world only replicable on a Warhammer board (not that I know anything about that...). Rowling gave us a magical universe that apparently existed all around us, a world so beautifully intricate, detailed and credible I'm sure that more than one child has been severely injured at King's Cross attempting to get on the Hogwart's Express. Coupled with a writing style that is both simple and elegant, entertaining yet informative, Rowling's books have rekindled a generation's interest in literature. For that alone, 'Harry Potter' should be praised.
Others would be more sceptical, and talk less about literature and more about SFX. Undoubtedly, the 'Harry Potter' films are a huge part of the series' success. All seven of the films so far are in the top thirty highest grossing films ever, and it is clear from the hoards of screaming, smiling and often tearful crowds outside every premier that the films are (sometimes obsessively) loved. Others are not fans of such glamour. Undeniably (although one might suggest unsurprisingly), the 'Harry Potter' series cost a bomb to produce. 'The Half Blood Prince' was the fourth most expensive film to produce ever, costing $250 million, and there are of course those who argue that, beyond a few dazzling effects, there is little substance to the series; the actors, particularly those who began the series as children, have been constantly criticised for poor quality performances, and many would perceive the films' at times significant departure from the original plotlines as an attempt to make the series more audience appealing. I personally think that the films are, by and large, a credit to their literary counterparts. It is seldom the case that a film is entirely faithful to the book it is based on; concessions and adaptations are a natural part of the transfer between genre, and I feel the film series has remained sensitive to the original intent of Rowling's novels whilst making the stories viable films in their own right. Nevertheless, it is difficult now to see the characters in the books as anyone other than Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson, yet we can only hope that, for those who watched the films first, the books will prove just as magical retrospectively.
But I want now to look away from the films, away from adult cynics and fanatical teenage girls, away from all the hype that surrounds major successes to get to the heart of my original question, "Why do we love 'Harry Potter'?". And for me, as for so many, I look back to my nine or ten-year old self who first read 'The Philosopher's Stone' all those years ago. Huddled under my duvet late into the night with my bedside lamp under the covers for fear of discovery (an act that was, in hindsight, quite dangerous given the fact that I remember having to take periodic gulps of air and stop when I smelled burning polyester) I first plunged into Rowling's exciting world, desperately hoping for a letter delivered by an owl and addressed to 'Mr CJ Leffler, Top Bunkbed, Downstairs Bedroom' before I had to go off to secondary school, doomed to a muggle existence. Sadly, this didn't happen, but my fixation with the books didn't wane. I was by no means as obsessive as some of my friends, but it was impossible not to feel an affinity for young Mr Potter and the magical world he inhabited. And as Harry grew up, as he and the novels he inhabited matured and the plotlines grew darker, more complicated and less cosy, it seemed to somewhat echo the movement towards adulthood I myself was experiencing. When Harry had his first kiss I'm sure millions of teenage girls around the globe were left jealously wishing it could have been them he'd pulled, and many angsty and awkward teenage boys left jealously wondering just how he'd pulled (he had, of course, the advantage of magic). We grew up with Harry, he was like a brother we actually liked, someone to admire. For me, and I'm sure for many others, that is the reason I love 'Harry Potter'. Even now, halfway through a degree, it is oh so easy to be transported back into his magical world, away from the daily stresses of life.
What's not to love?
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